If we blame others for being wrong, we need to see what is being triggered in us. This often means we must go deeply into ourselves (sometimes even into cognitively unknown conditioning), and let the trigger go. It doesn't mean we accept any 'wrong doing' but we react to it differently, with understanding and compassion, and so respond in way which can help resolve the issue for all.
When we are aware of our own "issues" and have successfully integrated our own childhood trauma/conditioning, we become RESPONSE-ABLE. Otherwise we only RE-ACT according to our past experiences.
Are not opening communication and finding common objectives the key words here, in order to move forward, and forward, and thus get over t he worst anger etc?The more common ground, the better and t he less anger, new thinking patterns, new interests established etc would be t he imminent goals. But of course you know all that, so no need to prophesize!
"Conflict research provides no easy answers to our difficult conflicts"
***
Because the research is focused in all the WRONG places!
It ALL begins with children and their conflicts with parents, and the feelings of powerlessness generated within the FAMILY.
We will NEVER eliminate violence in its myriad of forms... some more subtle and insidious than others... if we don't start with educating young people about the EVERYDAY violence being done to children and being JUSTIFIED in the name of "discipline", "preventative health care" or "protection".
"This hurts me more than you!" is one common phrase used to minimize the damage done to children.
"Children are resilient." is another such phrase!
EVERYTHING we look at and try to "fix" beyond what we do to children, is ALWAYS going to be IN-EEFFECT-IVE in the long run, beCAUSE we are NOT addressing root causes, but only fiddling around with EFFECTS and SYMPTOMS.
Yes about childhood but there are many who have been fortunate to have been raised with love and compassion. There may to be easy answers but there are principles and creative answers to at least begin reducing tension and creating space for solutions. The Transcend Method offers much.
Spot on! If we could have leaders functioning from these sound psychological principles, we'd then be in the wonderful quandry of how to create an economy without war and debt. It's a shame though, that the voting process is so skewed and the media continues to stimulate bad behavior.
Leaders will only be as psychologically "sound" and AWARE as they were raised to be.
EVERYTHING that humans think, believe and DO happens DOWNSTREAM from the way we treat children during their FORMATIVE years... The human brain is not fully developed until the early 20's.
Anyone wanting to understand the roots of violence would do well to read Alice Miller and James Prescott...
Here is one sample by Alice Miller:
"The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
Thanks so much for your thoughts. All agreed. I was deeply impressed by Alice Miller's "Prisoners of Childhood" renamed "The Drama of the Gifted Child." I met her when I presented my work on the courageous personality, inspired by Dan Ellsberg, at the International Psychohistorical Association in the Netherlands, around 1999. She told me to be sure to mention the issue of physical punishment - most were not punished.
Physical punishment is one thing. Emotional/psychological punishment another, and possibly more insidious, because more difficult to recognize. Even something as SEEMINGLY benign as "time-out" IS cruel punishment at a time when small children NEED connection and a loving presence THE MOST.
"It is paradoxical, yet true: Children are the most in need of loving attention, when they act the least deserving of it."
Diane - Thank you for your expert analysis of the ways in which human reactivity can lead to escalation of conflict to the detriment of all concerned. There is another aspect to the situation, which I hope you might also address. Sometimes there are parties that actually benefit from the conflict, and they actively interfere to stoke the fire of reactivity and prevent peaceful resolutions. Banks and arms dealers and authoritarian political leaders do better in wartime than peacetime. What role are they playing in maintaining the high level of tension on the world stage?
I agree 100%.I wrote about this in 1985 and will include agin. Marc Pilisuk's book is about who benefits. I think a huge component now is that the US is exploiting Israel and also benefiting from this. It serves many functions, including a distraction form domestic problems, profits for the military industrial complex - use of weapons are an advertisement and also need to replenish and sell more, instigating conflicts with Iran, etc. I heard that Hezbollah was shifting gears to governance - which is one way that terrorism ends. This will disrupt that. Almost all conflict are instigated from the outside and do not arise from the people who pay the price. Thanks for your comment. More to come ...
I remember how my grandmother suffered after loosing her husband to WWII and then having to flee her home in Königsberg (East Prussia) from the Russian Red Army, while pregnant with my mother. That establishes me as German by birth, although my father is American, stationed in SW Germany when he met my mother.
I remember my grandmother screaming in her sleep having nightmares about death coming for her...
When I was 6 my aunt's American boyfriend showed us Polaroid images of dead bodies from his time in the Korean war. Those made a HUGE impact on me.
Most people will not connect the dots between mutilating children's bodies... I am specifically referring to genital mutilation practiced by both Jews and Muslims... and the normalisation of violence and atrocity in a culture.
Incidentally, the USA is the ONLY developed country to practice ROUTINE genital mutilation of baby boys... about 3000 per day ... WITHOUT so much as a religious EXCUSE!!
EVERYTHING humans think, believe and DO happens DOWNSTREAM from the way we treat children during their FORMATIVE years. The human brain is not fully developped until the early 20's!!
Anyone interested in the roots of violence would to well to read Alice Miller and James Prescott.
Here is a sample by Alice Miller:
“The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
If we blame others for being wrong, we need to see what is being triggered in us. This often means we must go deeply into ourselves (sometimes even into cognitively unknown conditioning), and let the trigger go. It doesn't mean we accept any 'wrong doing' but we react to it differently, with understanding and compassion, and so respond in way which can help resolve the issue for all.
Agreed 💯
When we are aware of our own "issues" and have successfully integrated our own childhood trauma/conditioning, we become RESPONSE-ABLE. Otherwise we only RE-ACT according to our past experiences.
Are not opening communication and finding common objectives the key words here, in order to move forward, and forward, and thus get over t he worst anger etc?The more common ground, the better and t he less anger, new thinking patterns, new interests established etc would be t he imminent goals. But of course you know all that, so no need to prophesize!
"Conflict research provides no easy answers to our difficult conflicts"
***
Because the research is focused in all the WRONG places!
It ALL begins with children and their conflicts with parents, and the feelings of powerlessness generated within the FAMILY.
We will NEVER eliminate violence in its myriad of forms... some more subtle and insidious than others... if we don't start with educating young people about the EVERYDAY violence being done to children and being JUSTIFIED in the name of "discipline", "preventative health care" or "protection".
"This hurts me more than you!" is one common phrase used to minimize the damage done to children.
"Children are resilient." is another such phrase!
EVERYTHING we look at and try to "fix" beyond what we do to children, is ALWAYS going to be IN-EEFFECT-IVE in the long run, beCAUSE we are NOT addressing root causes, but only fiddling around with EFFECTS and SYMPTOMS.
Yes about childhood but there are many who have been fortunate to have been raised with love and compassion. There may to be easy answers but there are principles and creative answers to at least begin reducing tension and creating space for solutions. The Transcend Method offers much.
Non-violent communication as well.
Are you familiar with Thomas Hübl and his work on Collective Trauma?
no
https://www.amazon.ca/Healing-Collective-Trauma-Integrating-Intergenerational-ebook/dp/B089LM5JGJ/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1698330211&sr=1-2
Spot on! If we could have leaders functioning from these sound psychological principles, we'd then be in the wonderful quandry of how to create an economy without war and debt. It's a shame though, that the voting process is so skewed and the media continues to stimulate bad behavior.
The voting process is a SYMPTOM.
Leaders will only be as psychologically "sound" and AWARE as they were raised to be.
EVERYTHING that humans think, believe and DO happens DOWNSTREAM from the way we treat children during their FORMATIVE years... The human brain is not fully developed until the early 20's.
Anyone wanting to understand the roots of violence would do well to read Alice Miller and James Prescott...
Here is one sample by Alice Miller:
"The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
~ Alice Miller
Full article 👇🏼
http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-political-consequences-of-child-abuse/
Thanks so much for your thoughts. All agreed. I was deeply impressed by Alice Miller's "Prisoners of Childhood" renamed "The Drama of the Gifted Child." I met her when I presented my work on the courageous personality, inspired by Dan Ellsberg, at the International Psychohistorical Association in the Netherlands, around 1999. She told me to be sure to mention the issue of physical punishment - most were not punished.
Physical punishment is one thing. Emotional/psychological punishment another, and possibly more insidious, because more difficult to recognize. Even something as SEEMINGLY benign as "time-out" IS cruel punishment at a time when small children NEED connection and a loving presence THE MOST.
"It is paradoxical, yet true: Children are the most in need of loving attention, when they act the least deserving of it."
~ Aletha Solter
www.awareparenting.com
Diane - Thank you for your expert analysis of the ways in which human reactivity can lead to escalation of conflict to the detriment of all concerned. There is another aspect to the situation, which I hope you might also address. Sometimes there are parties that actually benefit from the conflict, and they actively interfere to stoke the fire of reactivity and prevent peaceful resolutions. Banks and arms dealers and authoritarian political leaders do better in wartime than peacetime. What role are they playing in maintaining the high level of tension on the world stage?
I agree 100%.I wrote about this in 1985 and will include agin. Marc Pilisuk's book is about who benefits. I think a huge component now is that the US is exploiting Israel and also benefiting from this. It serves many functions, including a distraction form domestic problems, profits for the military industrial complex - use of weapons are an advertisement and also need to replenish and sell more, instigating conflicts with Iran, etc. I heard that Hezbollah was shifting gears to governance - which is one way that terrorism ends. This will disrupt that. Almost all conflict are instigated from the outside and do not arise from the people who pay the price. Thanks for your comment. More to come ...
Free Palestine from Israeli ethnic cleansing
Yes and free Israel from being occupiers and from being used by the US.
I am ANTI WAR... and ANTI VIOLENCE.
I remember how my grandmother suffered after loosing her husband to WWII and then having to flee her home in Königsberg (East Prussia) from the Russian Red Army, while pregnant with my mother. That establishes me as German by birth, although my father is American, stationed in SW Germany when he met my mother.
I remember my grandmother screaming in her sleep having nightmares about death coming for her...
When I was 6 my aunt's American boyfriend showed us Polaroid images of dead bodies from his time in the Korean war. Those made a HUGE impact on me.
Most people will not connect the dots between mutilating children's bodies... I am specifically referring to genital mutilation practiced by both Jews and Muslims... and the normalisation of violence and atrocity in a culture.
Incidentally, the USA is the ONLY developed country to practice ROUTINE genital mutilation of baby boys... about 3000 per day ... WITHOUT so much as a religious EXCUSE!!
EVERYTHING humans think, believe and DO happens DOWNSTREAM from the way we treat children during their FORMATIVE years. The human brain is not fully developped until the early 20's!!
Anyone interested in the roots of violence would to well to read Alice Miller and James Prescott.
Here is a sample by Alice Miller:
“The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
~ Alice Miller
Full article 👇🏼
http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-political-consequences-of-child-abuse/
Thanks, agreed ,sorry for the trauma to your family which informs you to do more good in the world.